SA Open House

Yesterday was... (can't find a word for it so I shall try several) busy, fun, dull, exciting, monotonous, atrocious, demoralising and wild all rolled into one.

Busy: We had to carry instruments and the likes to the hall, and back again. Had to entertain+humour+coax people to join (and we got duped in the process too. By J2 councilors. The NERVE of them. Grr...) both at the booth and in the CO room. Then my good ol' brother came and I showed him and his friends around. And of course I got my shoe bag, by courtesy of my brother. Hahha.

Fun: Basically this constituted very little of my day. Aside from the fact that I derived some satisfaction from stomping on the B**d stickers, and crapping around with the rest, and voyeuring the campus to get a feel of THE open house mood, 'fun' wasn't really in my dictionary.

Dull/ monotonous: Zipping to and fro the hall and the CO room.

Exciting: My first SA open house, with me actually being a student here. I could still remember when I came last year; I was like a wide-eyed doe. Everything was new to me, and the place was bustling. To think that one year later I'd be part of preparing for the open house. Kinda unbelievable. And of course, to be able to 'strut your stuff' in front of the sec 4 kiddies in your SA shirt; with pride... (though I don't look exactly stunning in my baggy polo shirt =P ) Now that's cool. Haha.

Demoralising: the afore mentioned B**d. And D***e. The whole 'black banner affair', basically. Argh.

Wild: Need I say more? Alison rawked the whole house! The crowd was hollering away, including me. ;)

Atrocious: Now this really put me off. Was happily playing spectator during the mass dance when a plastic rose popped in front of me. No prizes for guessing who that moron was. Urgh. 'Nuff said. Also, moron no. 2 (for which to date I've not ascertained his/her identity) put sy's, xl's and my name down on the guitar ensemble sheet when we have no prior experience, and on which the saboteur proclaimed that we had 'lots and lots of it'. Argh^2.

Disclaimer: the above mentioned emotions might be conflicting. But realise that the author contradicts herself more often than not...

Haemorrhag[ed]

Notice the 'ED' on my haemorrhage. Means it's over and done with. OVER AND DONE WITH!

Anyway hey Sookee and XL, if you're reading this, then I'll have to say you both are great friends. Sorry for being such a loser (hmm I think you guys have seen me at one of my worst) and I really appreciated your concern. Yah lah, both of you are the coolest gifts Life has decided to bestow upon me... (I think I can imagine your smug faces now =P ) Kudos, girls. ^^

Sunday Afternoon

Weary of myself, and sick of asking
What I am, and what I ought to be,
At the vessel's prow I stand, which bears me
Forwards, forwards, o'er the starlit sea.
Matthew Arnold, 'Self-Dependence' (1854)

Gibberish

Jerry got booted out finally
and Sylvester remained!
That kinda lifted my mood really
from the dismal results obtained.

It just isn't the same anymore
with things all awry like that;
maybe it's just a warped lore
that on certain days I'm squashed flat.

Cinderella has Fairy Godmother
but pray, what have I?
Three pesky lil' brothers
and a perpetual sigh.

It's this angsty Sprite in me
stirring up these woes.
It taunts in unabashed glee
until I deem myself my foe.

What would cheer me up I think
would be my memories dispelled.
The Sprite now offers a mysterious wink
and says 'yes, it might all turn out well.'

I will myself to believe in that,
for salvation never seemed so near.
So entangled in this messy net
I work to dispel my fear.

It's achievable, I believe.
Because the point is to forget,
and to cast aside and leave.
Alas, the inability to love will be my only real regret.

...

I feel I'm so Stupid I might drop dead from Stupidity anytime.










































































='(

The Bomb

Right. There is NO DENYING that I'm seriously INADEQUATE in the BRAINS department. Darn. Told myself not to care too much about my results (but then again that's just silly; who wouldn't care?!) but when Math lect came and solutions were flashed, I reverted to agonising. Argh. I don't ask for much, just an AO pass. Yep, just an AO pass, please?! And then there's the issue of getting promoted. Argh. Argh. Argh.
I'm composing this in the sch library. Afterwards it's Bio lect and I reckon I'll be dealt yet another blow. Oh well. =(

Bleah ll

Update on yesterday. So basically LM and I, we caught 'The Terminal' at cineleisure. Some parts had me in stitches so serious I was in tears and snortling away with total disregard for my poise/decorum/ettiquette or what have you. =P A feel-good movie, posseses mass appeal, but generally too fictitious. Then we proceeded to take neo-prints. First at cineleisure then at the Heeren. I busted 9 dollars on those alone. Yikes. I can't believe that girl, she's a complete nutcase when it comes to neo-prints! Haha. Saw CW and gang. Apparently they were having their pics taken too. Went around Taka browsing around. So that's all in a nutshell, in all a relaxing day.



Then today during CO prac the conductor wanted me to play the Ban Hu. It went like this. When M offered me the Hu I vehemently declined, 'cos I've never ever touched it before, let alone played it. He then contrived to offer the instrument to others around him (it was all very well in vain =P) when the conductor intervened. He pointed to moi, and presto, I get to play it. Sigh. Which is all very well unless you consider how the Ban Hu has solo parts in the piece. And in SYF competitions, soloists either make or break the fate of the whole orchestra. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? .... I pretty much think so. Bleah. Anyway yep I keep telling myself I CAN do this, but then the Hu screeches unyieldingly when my turn comes and I go 'but then again maybe not'. Argh. And of course it followed me home at the end of the prac. I'm determined to overcome the Ban Hu, not vice versa.

Fiddled with my instrument for a while (with my poor family enduring it), then took a very loooooooong nap. Haha. What a lazy day...

Argh

Beating my wings, all ways, within your cage,
I flutter, but not out.
C.S Lewis


Day one of utter freedom. And the worst thing that can happen when you think you're free is to feel strangely empty inside. That's how I'm feeling now. Am alone at home with the music blasting from the comp. Kinda fills up that empty space in here. Sigh. Miss my brother when he was sick; at least there was someone watching Sesame Street with me. (Yep, a 16 and 17 yr old cracking up hysterically at the antics of Elmo and gang. Ha) Guess I'll just have to put up with things till tomorrow, when I'm gonna shop till I literally drop. Can't wait.

Long-awaited Liberation

Yes I've learnt
that to really yearn
is to bring yourself pain.
So I've decided to refrain
from all things hurtful,
by first admitting that I'm the fool,
and then to take it in my stride,
by putting aside all my pride
... till I think I'm ready to face
Myself; the one fallen from grace.
I'll live.


Yay, this day heralds my long-awaited liberation. I've acutally survived the promos. Wow. Haha didn't know I was capable of such a feat. Anyways yep, I'm FREE as a lark! =D

So mi parents and I went to the Pan Pacific Hotel for this buffet dinner and the place was rather desolate. As in, only a few people were there and there was this lethargic feel about the place, though the decor and all were sophisticated. The food spread was passable (too few varieties to choose from, if you ask me =P) but what I really enjoyed was the music playing from downstairs. There's this lounge where people sit and drink, and a singer belted out song after jazzy song with live accompaniment from the piano. Very classy and relaxing. So basically I contended with listening to the numbers, what with the dismal array of food.

After that mi dad suggested going all the way up to the 37th floor by way of the glass elevator which 'showcases' the city skyline through its panes. First time up in that elevator (yah, very sua ku right) and the view was great. 37 storeys isn't all that high up, and I think the view'd be much better way up higher. But the way I feel all fluttery and excited inside more than made up for that. Hahha. We took the 'ride' twice. Yep up and down, then up and down again. Wahahaha.

Now that promos is over, there's a sudden void. Like, a path ain't clearly mapped out for you and you're left wondering what's next. Oh well I know what's next, PW.... ugh. Right. And my John Fowles novel, my Hikaru No Go VCD, Jay's lyrics, shopping *blah blah blah*. Ha. The list never ends. Wait I think I see my path after all. =P

Burned up/out/thorugh

I'm tired
of Mooncakes,
of Crying,
of Heartaches,
of Studying,
of Charity Shows,
of Fretting,
of Dominoes,
of Agonising,
of Noises,
of Mulling,
of Voices,
of Procrastinating,
of Melancholia,
of Lamenting,
of the Sigma,
of Wasting,
of Myself.

*shrug*

五月天 [纯真]
在无声之中 你拉起了我的手
我怎么感觉整个黑夜在震动
耳朵里我听到了心跳的节奏
星星在闪烁 你会怎么说。。。

你已经有她就不应该再有我
世界的纯真此刻为你有迷惑
我想我应该轻轻放开你的手

我却没有力气这么做

...Used to be my fave song and I believe I've quite forgotten how teary it makes me feel, till I heard it again today in Fish's latest album. She carries it off very nicely with her bitter-sweet vocals. And yes, the wonders songs can do to rake up the past. Ah well.